Insecurities that keep eating me alive

June 16, 2021

You know, when people keep trying to warn people don't get into three group friendship because you'll be left out, I want to prove them wrong because I've been into it and during those times, I never felt left out but as time passed by, I keep questioning myself, does it really never made me feel left out?

Truth to be told, I feel like three group friends is a competition satisfying this one friend in the group and I feel like I'm loosing each one of it. For what reason? I don't know, but I feel like maybe because I was naturally, annoying or I was seen too competitive and it's getting annoying to people? Maybe.

Honestly, I feel it, like I feel that I wasn't a very nice friend to begin with and it's natural for this one person that I'm trying to be good with to discuss things with the other person. I remember crying my heart out because of things like this, I'm so used to it.

But then, there's no one to blame.

Only me and myself.


New semester D-1

March 29, 2021

Today, it rains a lot in the morning. I went out to post some items that someone bought from my Carousell. Since I don't have a lot of cash and Grabpay  minimum requirement for reload is RM50, I walk from apartment to Giant. Although it sucks that the elevator broke but I cashed out RM50 and the came out as five times of RM10. The story is nonsense but I feel unlucky but at the same time it makes me feel lucky, literally equal level of lucks. 

My class ended an hour early because you know what lecturers will enlighten in first day. Things like the lesson plan, assignments and textbooks. All the essentials. My class is super packed on Monday. Although we barely did nothing, I already feels exhausted.

I've already got some warnings from lecturers saying this semester will a be a jar of tough cookies. There's also some of my lecturers were those from previous semester (I kind of mindlessly cook during one of their class) which for me a little bit relief since I already knew their gerak kerja. There's also new lecturers, my first class, the lecturer was super sporting, he looks like he like to joke and talk alot. I'm prepared for many story from him. Second lecturer, also super chill one. Third one, also super chill one, at least that's what I thought since we don't technically meet her yet. Lastly, one of my lecturers from my semester.

So far, it's been nice. I guess I can't say much about first week since we barely study but I've got a good feelings about so I guess, it's fine.

I'm thinking about how I will survived this Ramadhan considering I'm alone most of the times and I need to cook. My class ended at 6 which leave me only an hour or so before iftar. I'm considering about cooking early since I don't have that many choices, though.

I don't know when will I come back but the past few days I've spent writing here has been fun. Thank you for reading!

Let's meet again soon!

Love, Sabrina.


Reflection | I feel the need to post

March 23, 2021

Ever since my last post, I felt like I keep on wanting to write. However, the thing is I don't know what to write about. Nothing interesting had been happening for the past few days. I don't go out. I've been stuck in my home for almost 3 months now, excluding doing groceries. I'm a woman full of anxiety. Although, I've motorcycle license to go about anywhere, I'm still afraid of the road. Even the road is empty, there's a bunch of scenarios playing in my head. Although the road seems short, it's a long a journey to me. I probably Ayatul Kursi, at least three times before starting my journey.

Other than that, I also have social anxiety. I'm trying to overcome it but given the situation, it's a little bit hard. I started to get nervous whenever I haven't gone out for so long. My body will shiver. It wasn't as bad now. 

Back then, when I first started riding my motorcycle for the first time at general road. Someone horn at me and I ended up going back to my home shivering and my body ice cold. Nowadays, I felt like I got just a little bit braver than before. My next target is to be able to fill up my gas. The road in the city is so scary but considering everything, my hometown road is a lot more scarier. Since, my house is nearby the highway, a lot of drivers of huge lorries tend to take their break there. There's some of them that drive recklessly so, it's a little bit traumatic for me. I still couldn't ride on general road on my hometown, though. I only managed to reach the nearby Ninso Store and some banks around that area. It's been fun.

I'm thinking about taking driving license too but the period I had for semester break is too short, Ayah was unavailable here too and the driving school that I would like to attend is a little bit far from home. I'm still considering everything. Would take sometimes to come to a conclusion but I indeed need a driving license.

I think I'll stop here for today. I feel like I talk a lot today. On my Twitter, here and there. I'm a little bit overhyped today. Anyway, my next semester is starting six days. I almost forgot to register my course, yesterday. The break is too short but I enjoy every bit of it. Hope you feels the same too. 

Have a good day!

Love, Sabrina

p/s: Funny how I said I don't know what to write and came down to this stories and also, I'm thinking about replacing The Quarantine Diaries segment with Reflection since it's almost irrelevant now.


K-drama Review: Homemade Love Story

March 16, 2021

It's been weeks, I keep forgetting about how I should do a review on this particular drama because I love it so much! In my previous review, I said that I'm not much a drama watcher but I think I kind of jinxed it because the amount of K-drama I've watched this past few months after that particular review, I've no words. Anyway, let's get into it. 

Here's a formal introduction to this drama:

Directed by : Hong Seok-goo (홍석구)
Screenplay by : Yoon Kyeong-ah (윤경아)
Cast: Jeon In-hwa (전인화), Jung Bo-suk (정
석), Hwang Shin-hye (황신혜), Jin Ki-joo (진기주), and more

What was the story about?

Homemade Love Story (alternately, Oh! Samgwang Villa) is a story of three families live under one roof at a boarding house called Samgwang Villa. Sun Jeong's family lives a pure and simple life and doesn't have a lot of money. Jung Hoo's family is rich but is far from peaceful. Jung Won's family looks perfect from the outside but is actually quite rocky. Others join these families at Samgwang Villa, each with their own stories. What is the meaning of family in this day and age, with so many single-person households and people choosing not to get married? Let's meet the people who open their hearts to one another to live and love as a family in Homemade Love Story.

(Source: Viki)

The review

Family drama is quite a genre that are less-approach. In my opinion, it is because of how lengthy it is. My first family drama is What Happens to My Family (You can read about it my clicking the title) which was suggested by my friend when I was 15. I cried on the most part of it. Technically, Homemade Love Story is my second family drama that I've ever watched.

I stumbled upon it when I was watching KBS unknowingly, I got hooked. The reason why I got hooked?

Sunjeong's (Played by Jeon In-hwa) warm heart. I can't believe that there's a woman as kind as her. She always welcome everyone with any background with her warm foods. She's an amazing mother-figure in my point-of-view. On the other side, she's also very rash in making decisions. She always thought that her decision is the best for her children but she never asked any of her children's opinion regarding it.

You can see how motherly she is

She's a heather

Although the main character in this story is, Lee Bitchaewon (Played by Jin Ki-joo) , I find the story of other is far more interesting. Especially, Hwang Naro (Played by Jeon Sung-woo) and Woo Jung Hoo (Played by Jung Bo-suk) and Woo Jae Hee (Played by Lee Jang-woo). The amount of tears I've shed for Hwang Naro is immaculate. He's the most pitful out of everyone.


You need to watch it! But one thing for sure, I need a second season just for a happy ending for Hwang Naro. I've attachment issue with this character. He's adorable! It's so hard to find official stills for Hwang Naro.

My favourite boy!

My favourite trio! Lee Haedeun's saviour!

I'm getting more sad

Another thing that I want to highlight is how much Jung Won (Played by Hwang Shin-hye) is drippin'. Her outfits in every episodes is so good. Reflecting his role as the CEO of a fashion company, Jung Won's style is something to be applaud of. Not only Jung Won actually, the entire cast have amazing outfits but I like Jung Won's the most. Kuddos to the stylist! 

Look at her, oh my god!

The cast line up was amazing too. I feel like people will see a lot of familiar faces. It's just shame that Jeon Sung-woo doesn't get so much exposure. I watched the script-reading video and they even exclude my man like that. On the other hand, I can' t really complaint since he's a support anyway, I love that man so much! And I love how when there's and addition on a new character, it wasn't that awkward. Like it feels the new character had always been part of the story. 

The main cast line-up

Overall, I don't really have much to say about it and I've enjoy the ups-and-downs for each characters. To be honest, I find the ending a little bit cringe but I learned that the ending doesn't really matter for me. It's how the story grow and it flows very naturally. It also gives a tea-break kind of vibe. Just like the title called, Homemade Love Story, the warmness of this drama gave you the kind of a place called home type of vibes. It's comfortable.

And that's put an end to the review. I feel like this is much better than my previous review. Maybe because it's already so long since the last episode, I've already forgot some of the storylines. However, I hope that I can write much better review in the picture. I hope you can receive as much comfort as I'm while watching this drama. 

Thank you!

Love, Sabrina.


Reflection | How I actually feel about my results

March 13, 2021

 Recently, I just got my results for my last semester.

I never expect myself to do so well. Considering the pressures, stress and procrastination I was going through, I thought I barely passed but Alhamdullilah, I made it! I'm nowhere near the borders of failing.

Truth to be told, after my UPSR, I've never consider examination results a huge thing. Of course, doing good, straight As and everything is amazing but I've never been bothered by it because Ayah said, "As long as you did not failed." (I did failed once during form 4). So, I just went the flow of my own. 

On my first semester of matrics, I barely passed 3.0. I'm happy with the results, though. I meant, I never think much about it. However, once I got back to my hometown, all my uncles and aunts keep asking about it. During that time, I feel like it is a big deal and decided to take my second semester seriously and scored more than 3.5. Once, in my life, I feel like I'm so clever. Only then I realized, I actually those who need to work hard for my result to be that way. Technically speaking, I'm not a natural genius.

After that, I started taking everything seriously but as the pandemics hit in the midst of my second semester, I feel like I'm going back to square one. I realized how much environments play a huge role in my life to reach such results but it wasn't as bad the one that I've gone through before so, it's okay.

I've a lot mixed feelings about my results actually, I managed to passed because it's pandemic and it's an open-book finals. What if there's no pandemics? Will I be able to pass? So, I feel like, I shouldn't be happy about it too much.

Anyway, there's a lot of things that I could reflects on. One of them being, when I feel like I've got the worst results among all of my classmates, I remind myself that I'm not the only who failed during this particular times. There's thousands and millions of people. I realized that there's also other people around the world who're fighting with me through this pandemics due to many circumstances. It makes me a little bit better than comparing  myself to those who are better than me. My point being I'm not the loner during this time of the year when I feel like I've reach the rock bottom, so, chin up!

You, I, us will do better in the future!

Love, Sabrina.

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