Photo by Mikey Harris from Unsplash

How's everyone doing? I'm doing great as ever. I recently just finished my fourth semester and wrapped with International Trade as my last paper. Gracefully ending my third year, I'm nervous as hell to start my fifth semester that will start in October. Of course, there are so much times to prepare but I'm definitely not resting this semester break since I joined some major programs under my campus. I'll try to update it from time to time. So, please look forward to it.

By the way, how do you like the new look on my blog? Is it alright? 

I put a lot of thought whether or not to change it but after some time, I believe it is for the best.

Truth to be told, during my start of  'reflection: a small journal', I'm in darkest time. I'm always overwhelmed by stress and burnout due to personal reasons that are unexplainable at the moment. The blog is basically my escape to talk shit (Nicely said, rant) about this and that. I, also read other people post because I want to think about the direction of this blog going. I saw people doing review so, I tried but I realized I have yet more to learn. I feel like things I wrote becoming more dishonest as I tried to be 'someone else'. The content became vague as it is not the 'me' in the entries but a person I wished to be.

As a result to that, I became pent up with thoughts that I'm unable to pour during those period which, eventually, cause me to suffer. Becoming impatient, short-tempered, tired and, back to square one, burnout and stress. Due to that, I decided to delete the dishonest past me because for me, it's basically false memories of mine. Of course, it is a shame to delete the entries but it is always for the best.

Other than that, I'm also super busy. There are so many assignments and tests for this semester. The subject also pretty heavy too. Although I learnt a lot, I feel like I did not gain anything? If that make sense. Usually, when I'm in campus, I did notes to keep myself afloat with the subject but with everything online, the motivation wasn't there. At first, I'm so pumped to start the semester but as the time passed by the efforts become less and less. Additionally, since there's also no tests, we're given so much assignments. 

My thought on this is actually it's fair enough because there are many possibilities that students would cheat so, giving more assignments does make sense. Hence, I kind of accept it the way it is. Alhamdullilah, most subjects have only max four assignments so, personally, for me, it's alright. Our experiences might differ from each other. I've seen people cried their heart out because there's just to many works from their lecturers. I can't say much about that side of the story because I'm not the one experienced it.

Anyway, I hope you can look forward to the new changes in my blog. All the explanations about how I came up with the name will be told later in my about page. As for now, thank you for reading!